The Groundsman's Dog
Please note - this report was taken from the Exiles website for archive purposes!
Barn Elms, 6/26/1996
Strongroom won by 11 runs
Strongroom: 92 [Waseem 4-17]
Exiles: 81 [A.Davies 4-19]
View the Scorecard
This game was too similar to our tragic defeat at the hands of Nuxley a fortnight ago for comfort. The Strongroom had done a good job of gathering a team on the day when England were playing Spain at Football. They managed nine men to our ten members. Their lineup included a wicketkeeper called Leroy who is a soap star from "East Enders" apparently and a left hand bat/ right hand bowler called Ally(?) who turned out to be a star in his own right. Waseem lost the toss again and we were sent out to field again.Things started well enough with a third ball wicket for yours truly and the other opener, Leroy, well yorked in my fourth over. I also bowled a fast off-break ( leg break to the left hander) that trapped Ally's finger and may have been caught if Phil James had been at all interested at short midwicket. In any event it made him fetch his helmet which should have told us that this man was a little more serious than the average Strongroom player. Gary Heaton was playing his first game of the season and took some time to get used to his new surroundings. He has just got back from Russia so it is entirely possible that he is a bit short of vitamins at the moment. He remained wicketless, as did Wayne Holder who replaced me at the sprinkler end and bowled seven luckless overs for 32. Captain Waseem Khan however began to run into some form. You could see him get better as each of his four wickets came, including the helmeted Ally, bowled leg stump after Nick Coleman pointed out that he was weak off his legs. He had scored over half of Strongroom's runs at that point. Waseem's figures of 4 for 17 from eight overs show a return to his old form and double his haul of wickets so far this year. Phil James was finally wheeled into the attack to clean up the tail. Waseem had held him back for trying to drop out on the morning of the game and being all round miserable and moaning. His mood was lifted slightly when he picked up both tailenders cheaply to finish with figures of 2 for 2 without breaking sweat. Strongroom all out for 92, a sporting total on this pitch with added random factor.
Throughout the afternoon we could see the groundsman busying himself on nearby pitches with sprinklers and mowers and a very solid looking motorised roller was parked nearby. It is difficult to comprehend how with all this equipment and time he manages to produce such terrible wickets. No innings has reached three figures here this season and no team has lasted forty overs. Bounce is as variable as it is possible to be, it is perhaps fortunate that the pace is deadly slow otherwise many more injuries would have occurred by now. It is probably a sensible precaution for the Groundsman to keep his "Pit Bull Type" dog nearby! It is certain in my mind that we will not be playing here again next season. We still have five more games here to endure.
Lunch was taken huddled around a transistor radio as England v Spain ran into extra time. When play resumed the Exiles were fully aware that caution would be a priority and no repeat of the "cavalry charge over the cliff" against Nuxley should occur. In fact it turned out to be more of an infantry advance into a minefield! Before the real demons got up to bite the Exiles Guy Sneesby was given out lbw by Gary "Trigger" Heaton, hit on the full on the foot a good four feet in front of the crease. Gary's umpiring is like Russian roulette with an automatic! He was replaced at the earliest opportunity before he could do any more damage. At least Guy could then listen to the penalty shoot out that we in the middle only followed by the cheers, he didn't see it quite like that and had there been a pavillion door available it would have been slammed.
Then the pitch got in on the action and long hops became deadly off breaks, half volleys bounced extravagantly and short length balls shot along the floor. Wickets fell as bails flew, maybe the Exiles were not always as far forward as they should have been, but Ally was bowling with real pace and Mick with real variation. Only Keith and Nick reached double figures with 10 and 37 respectively. Seven of the nine wickets were bowled, one caught at the wicket and the "lbw" already mentioned. Only three ducks this week so a slight improvement there. The score was 68 for seven when I joined Nick Coleman and although it was looking shaky, 13 runs from the next over brought the total much nearer and I felt much more confident after swinging a full toss away to the fine leg boundary for my first runs of the season that actually count (Leaving aside the "Beer Match" against Watermill). That was the end of the over and Nick was bowled first ball of the next one from Ally, playing a rather loose back foot shot. This brought Waseem to the crease, time to play a Captains' innings. Unfortunately Waseem is not that sort of Captain and went bowled first ball still unable to trouble the scorers. Ally the hero! Exiles all out for 81, still 12 runs short of a victory that should have been a formality. In spite of starting a little late it was all over by 6pm. This is the first time that Strongroom/BCC have beaten the Exiles for about four seasons a pity for them that there weren't more of the old timers around to savour the moment.
Next week sees us at home again (Hurrah!...not) against Red Star Pandemonium for an early start so as to finish in time to watch the Euro '96 Final if the groundsman wil let us start early. He may be busy rubbing itching powder into the wickets!
Written By: P.Shorrock (Exiles Captain) Please note - this report was taken from the Exiles website for archive purposes!
|