A truly miserable day…
Highgate Woods, 8/18/2007
Caribbean Mix won by 7 wickets
Strongroom: 188-6 (S.Ray 100)
Caribbean Mix: 190-3 (M.Green 97)
View the Scorecard
The combination of only 5 opposition players and steady rain sweeping across from the west, conspired together to render this the most miserable and meaningless cricket match of my career. This disappointement was acutely felt as we were all looking forwards to having a final crack at the Mix, and so this game had aquired a great deal of significance. With hindsight I would have cancelled the fixture, and we could all have gone elsewhere to seek out some pleasure in our monstrous metropolis, but as it was we were 11 men in whites champing at the bit, so when Jim’s depleted outfit appeared, the only positive option appeared to try and ‘make a game of it’. I gave them Shah and my brother, and they also acquired Rich Woolhouse’s sister’s boyfriend, an American tourist caught up in events outside of his control!
I won the toss and decided to bat first. We scored 188-6 off our 30 overs, a high run-rate courtesy of only 5 fit fielders and the huge gaps in the outfield thereof [the dude with the falling-down whites limped throughout and was barely mobile]. Three of our top four were quickly scuttled out, but it was thanks to a maiden century by Simon Ray and typically useful contributions from Cannon, Jolyon and The Horse that we managed to post a good total. It was a pity Simon’s innings had to arise out of such contrived conditions, but it was a well-deserved landmark for a batsmen of his talents, and it included some sweetly-struck sixes to entertain the small crowd.
Tea was due to be taken at this halfway point, but on the request of the opposition captain we played on, as their opener Mark apparently had to leave the ground to go back to work. Curiously however, he managed to stay a little longer than that, as he hammered his way to a 97 runs and with it another victory for the Mix. Naturally there were some questions at the back of my mind – was this a genuine game? Did our three loaned players make this a real Caribbean mix team? Why did Lembit Opik leave Sian Lloyd for one of the Cheeky Girls? Well, I have thought this one through carefully, and I have decided that this match status and result should stand. So woeful were our frontline pace bowlers that I felt they deserved to blow us away as they did – as once again we found it nigh impossible to bowl even two or three deliveries per over on the off-side of the stumps [that they could also be of a full length is Stage Two of our bowling therapy]. They also suffered a nasty injury to Alex, who was struck in the mouth by a sharply-rising delivery from the Horse. That he had to stumble around alone on Archway Road, with a bleeding mouth, as he and the Ambulance struggled to locate each other pretty much summed up the day for me.
However, it was mid-way through this innings that I started to fantasise about a hot bath and a strong drink. The relentless rain soaked through my sodden whites, the ball was slippery as a bag of eels and our strong lbw appeals against Mark Green were constantly rejected. In addition, high emotions and petulant behaviour were displayed on both teams, and I was not alone in wanting them to win the game as quickly as possible and put an end to the waterlogged misery. It was with huge relief that the winning runs were finally hit, as rivulets of precipitation cascaded off my hair and into my eyes.
Tea Report: 7/10 In the tradition of ‘bought’ teas, there is a 7/10 ‘cap’ on the marks awarded. Kritee and I purchased some tasty Turkish Kofte and Kebab fare from our local Ocakbasi, which everyone assumed we had cooked! I soaked up the accolades!
Oh well. You win some, you lose some…and we have lost all 5 of our games to this team! However, painful as these fixtures have been, they have been useful in revealing just how wayward our bowling is.
I consoled myself with that hot bath, a glass of red wine and a slumping in the sofa to watch ‘Pop’s 50 most annoying moments’. You know the kind of thing – endless D-list celebrities slagging off pop stars who you are vaguely aware of. It was quite amusing though – especially watching Lembit Opik talk up the Cheeky Girls. I digress…
Written By: Jon Gower
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